Many of you have heard the expression “Forgiveness is not for the other person, it is for you”. I have heard the character Madea, played by Tyler Perry; say this on film and in the plays. I have also heard Joyce Meyers minister about the power of forgiveness. As well as experienced the freedom of forgiveness in my own life. In this past week I have had the opportunity to forgive two different people for two different offenses. The first offense was very hard to let go, it came from a blood relative. To sum it up I underwent defamation of character. At first, I was very angry. The rumor was a lie and it could have harmed innocent lives. The keywords are could have… Sometimes we give people more power than they really have. The second offense came from work. I won’t go into detail about that one, because I still need a job, LOL…but needless to say the action against me was injustice.
It is ok and natural to feel angry, mad, frustrated, and sometimes sad when we are offended. It is our actions that determine the outcome of these offenses. Our responses to offences have a direct impact over the quality of our lives. There are a lot of studies being done in correlating the effects of Unforgiveness and the decline in physical and mental health. However, not much evidence supports it. But, if you look up tangible variables, such as the effects of anger and stress which stems from unforgiveness, there is evidence that supports the effects these negative feelings have on the body. Also take notice that we are not always offended about every intentional and unintentional actions taken towards us. Maybe you only get offended by the people that are closer to you. Still in all, we have ample opportunities to be offended in our daily lives.
Going back to last week, I remember feeling angry when dealing with the offenses. I wanted to tell the people who offended me off, and tell them how I felt. I wanted them to know that what they did was wrong, and how it affected me. Isn’t that usually how it goes, you want the other person to understand your pain. Luckily, I could not reach my relative. I haven’t spoken to her in a long time and I didn’t have her number. Instead I vented to the people I could trust. The same thing happened at work. I demonstrated the same behaviors. I showed the person that I was angry silently. I could not say a whole lot. Remember, I need my job. After venting I thought it would make me feel better, and for a moment it did. After a few days I realized that I was still upset whenever I thought about the offenses or seen the person in my office; and I did not want to be. It’s impossible to be happy and angry at the same time. I could have waited for time to go on and suppressed the thoughts, and the feelings eventually would have also gone away.
After praying about it, it was revealed to me that unless I forgave the people; the anger behind the offenses would never go away. Even if I didn’t think about it for awhile, every time the situation or incident would come to memory or I would see the person, I would be reminded of the unforgiveness I was holding onto and the feelings would resurface. That means that unforgiveness has power over you. Well the reciprocal of unforgiveness has greater power. It removes the anger, hurt, bitterness, and burden that unforgiveness causes.
I forgave both people before the week was over. I was able to press through my feelings of anger and talk to the person at work in a cordial way. Little by little the anger was released and now I am able to be genuinely happy in our communication with one another. Physically, I feel a sense of release. As if, a heavy rock was lifted from my shoulders. You never know the weight of bad feelings, until they are removed. You maybe wondering how I forgave the relative I don’t have communication with. First, I prayed about it and asked God to forgive me for my unforgiveness towards her, and I asked for His strength to forgive her. Later, I found myself writing up a similar scenario in my book, realizing that I was thinking of this offense. I wrote about me seeing her again and just embracing her with a hug and letting her know that I loved her. That truly delivered me from unforgiveness and I know that if I see her, I will be able to show her the love that I have for her. There was nothing the other parties could have done that would have freed me from unforgiveness. Even if they would have apologized, I may still have held on to their offenses.
What if the person that you have not forgave is deceased. Well I’ve heard a message from Dr. Charles Stanley, stating that if you put a chair in front of you and speak to the chair as if the person was in it, that you could still apologize and release the unforgiveness. God hears you and will deliver you from it, if you mean what you say.
In processing what I was going through, I had a revelation of the power of eternal forgiveness that is available through Jesus Christ. Before Jesus died for the sins of the world, our world stood in condemnation. We offended God by sinning against him. We were his enemies. God created us in his own image. He is Love and therefore he created an object (humans) and poured his loved onto us. We all know how sin got started in this world, from Eve and Adam eating the forbidden fruit. The punishment of sin is death. We were all born into this world of sin, and we ourselves sin every time we do something that is not like God. We are all destined to physically die because of our sins. God loved us so much that he sent his Son to die for us and take away the sins of the world once and for all. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16.
“Why did God do this? Well first, so that our relationship with God can be restored. We are spiritually dead before salvation, and after receiving Jesus into our life our spirits become alive. Now, in dealing with our issues of sin, he forgave us permanently. So, He could show his unconditional love to us, free from our offenses. It is hard to show someone you love them and have anger towards them. You want to punish them or deal with the offense, going back to “you want them to know that what they did hurt you.” Jesus bore the sins of the world on the cross, every one of them to the last drop of our sins have been paid for. The anger God had towards these sins have been dealt with once and for all. When you believe that Jesus died for all of your sins, you know the freedom you have in eternal life. You know that when you make a mistake, God won’t turn away from you. He’ll bring you closer and guide you. He has given us a chance to have a free gift of eternal life if we believe in his son Jesus and allow him to be our Lord and savior. There is nothing that we could have done for this forgiveness, but to simply believe. We all were given a free will, and so it is our choice to believe or not to believe in this Truth.
If you do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ and you want to experience this freedom of sins and have eternal life, the bible says, “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” Romans 10:9…. If you need an example of the prayer for salvation,
Say this prayer: Lord Jesus,
I know that I have sinned and I am a sinner, please forgive me for all of my sins. I believe that you have died on the cross for my sins and were raised from the dead by God the Father. I ask You to come into my heart as my Lord and Savior. Wash me with Your blood and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
It is ok and natural to feel angry, mad, frustrated, and sometimes sad when we are offended. It is our actions that determine the outcome of these offenses. Our responses to offences have a direct impact over the quality of our lives. There are a lot of studies being done in correlating the effects of Unforgiveness and the decline in physical and mental health. However, not much evidence supports it. But, if you look up tangible variables, such as the effects of anger and stress which stems from unforgiveness, there is evidence that supports the effects these negative feelings have on the body. Also take notice that we are not always offended about every intentional and unintentional actions taken towards us. Maybe you only get offended by the people that are closer to you. Still in all, we have ample opportunities to be offended in our daily lives.
Going back to last week, I remember feeling angry when dealing with the offenses. I wanted to tell the people who offended me off, and tell them how I felt. I wanted them to know that what they did was wrong, and how it affected me. Isn’t that usually how it goes, you want the other person to understand your pain. Luckily, I could not reach my relative. I haven’t spoken to her in a long time and I didn’t have her number. Instead I vented to the people I could trust. The same thing happened at work. I demonstrated the same behaviors. I showed the person that I was angry silently. I could not say a whole lot. Remember, I need my job. After venting I thought it would make me feel better, and for a moment it did. After a few days I realized that I was still upset whenever I thought about the offenses or seen the person in my office; and I did not want to be. It’s impossible to be happy and angry at the same time. I could have waited for time to go on and suppressed the thoughts, and the feelings eventually would have also gone away.
After praying about it, it was revealed to me that unless I forgave the people; the anger behind the offenses would never go away. Even if I didn’t think about it for awhile, every time the situation or incident would come to memory or I would see the person, I would be reminded of the unforgiveness I was holding onto and the feelings would resurface. That means that unforgiveness has power over you. Well the reciprocal of unforgiveness has greater power. It removes the anger, hurt, bitterness, and burden that unforgiveness causes.
I forgave both people before the week was over. I was able to press through my feelings of anger and talk to the person at work in a cordial way. Little by little the anger was released and now I am able to be genuinely happy in our communication with one another. Physically, I feel a sense of release. As if, a heavy rock was lifted from my shoulders. You never know the weight of bad feelings, until they are removed. You maybe wondering how I forgave the relative I don’t have communication with. First, I prayed about it and asked God to forgive me for my unforgiveness towards her, and I asked for His strength to forgive her. Later, I found myself writing up a similar scenario in my book, realizing that I was thinking of this offense. I wrote about me seeing her again and just embracing her with a hug and letting her know that I loved her. That truly delivered me from unforgiveness and I know that if I see her, I will be able to show her the love that I have for her. There was nothing the other parties could have done that would have freed me from unforgiveness. Even if they would have apologized, I may still have held on to their offenses.
What if the person that you have not forgave is deceased. Well I’ve heard a message from Dr. Charles Stanley, stating that if you put a chair in front of you and speak to the chair as if the person was in it, that you could still apologize and release the unforgiveness. God hears you and will deliver you from it, if you mean what you say.
In processing what I was going through, I had a revelation of the power of eternal forgiveness that is available through Jesus Christ. Before Jesus died for the sins of the world, our world stood in condemnation. We offended God by sinning against him. We were his enemies. God created us in his own image. He is Love and therefore he created an object (humans) and poured his loved onto us. We all know how sin got started in this world, from Eve and Adam eating the forbidden fruit. The punishment of sin is death. We were all born into this world of sin, and we ourselves sin every time we do something that is not like God. We are all destined to physically die because of our sins. God loved us so much that he sent his Son to die for us and take away the sins of the world once and for all. “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” John 3:16.
“Why did God do this? Well first, so that our relationship with God can be restored. We are spiritually dead before salvation, and after receiving Jesus into our life our spirits become alive. Now, in dealing with our issues of sin, he forgave us permanently. So, He could show his unconditional love to us, free from our offenses. It is hard to show someone you love them and have anger towards them. You want to punish them or deal with the offense, going back to “you want them to know that what they did hurt you.” Jesus bore the sins of the world on the cross, every one of them to the last drop of our sins have been paid for. The anger God had towards these sins have been dealt with once and for all. When you believe that Jesus died for all of your sins, you know the freedom you have in eternal life. You know that when you make a mistake, God won’t turn away from you. He’ll bring you closer and guide you. He has given us a chance to have a free gift of eternal life if we believe in his son Jesus and allow him to be our Lord and savior. There is nothing that we could have done for this forgiveness, but to simply believe. We all were given a free will, and so it is our choice to believe or not to believe in this Truth.
If you do not have a relationship with Jesus Christ and you want to experience this freedom of sins and have eternal life, the bible says, “If you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” Romans 10:9…. If you need an example of the prayer for salvation,
Say this prayer: Lord Jesus,
I know that I have sinned and I am a sinner, please forgive me for all of my sins. I believe that you have died on the cross for my sins and were raised from the dead by God the Father. I ask You to come into my heart as my Lord and Savior. Wash me with Your blood and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You, and to do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.